a dove named shelly

I am not a bird expert, but I'm pretty sure this is a dove that is living about 4 feet from our door. She has built a nest in this planter. We were all outside playing the other night, and decided we needed to name her. The boys and I suggested to April egg-shell. Cute, I know. We were overruled. 1 to 4. The compromise of egg-shell? Shelly.

She is living in perfect peace apparently, even though the door opens 100 times a day, with relentless sword fights, army men, and whiffle balls flying nearby courtesy of our wild ones. Yet, she is there.

April sees this little bird as a reminder of God's faithfulness for our family because at this point, we still don't know exactly where we are going to live in HK. I know that weighs on her heart as a mom, but we are living in this verse these days, "You will keep him in perfect peace (shalom shalom) whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You." Isa 26:3

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Jesus in Matthew 6:25-27.

vision = important for life.

Vision - the ability to think or plan the future with wisdom and imagination. That's one definition. It's the one on the little dictionary that floats on my desktop. Good enough for me. Vision is essential, for everyone, and important for arguably, every area of life. 

I was having lunch the other day with a friend. He and I were talking about life, God, marriage, and other random things men tend to talk about. He shared with me some of his goals. One in particular, struck me as, well - important. He said he was memorizing the New Testament. Let me say that again, memorizing the whole NT. 

What? Is that possible? Maybe for some people right? Well, he's on it. Better put, he has a vision for it. Sure, he serves in a closed country, where he may not be able to sit at starbucks and read the bible like many people do. My point though, is that he has vision, a plan. That vision, determines his decisions, time management, and values. Right on. 

Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish. 

Another translation says, "where there is no revelation, the people throw off restraint." 

Either way, the point is -- thinking ahead / prayer planning

is C-R-I-T-I-C-A-L. 

So, I am in the process of thinking / praying through some of these things :

How will I invest in my relationship with God ?

How will I experience wholeness this year? 

How will I invest in my marriage in the months ahead?

How do we want to invest in and shape our children this next year?

How can we best serve / lead for the staff team we are humbled to serve alongside? 

How can we invest time in our relationships with others? 

yes. again.

"A man can be understood by knowing the questions that burn hotly within him. For many men, one question stands out among others as the one that matters most: “What should I do?” When men feel their deepest agony, that is the question they ask.

When a man finds himself in a place where that question cannot be answered, he moves to a place where it can. When he looks around and realizes he has wandered into a confusing situation where courage and creativity are required, he finds a way to return to the sphere of management, to some activity or responsibility where his skill and know-how are useful, where his inadequacy and fear will not be exposed, where the courage to live in an unpredictable world is not required; in short, he retreats to where he can find an answer to his burning question.

When a man flees the terror of mystery for the comforts of management, he compromises himself. A man ruled by the demand that he always know what to do cannot experience the deep joys of manhood. He has violated his calling and betrayed his nature.

God calls a man to speak into darkness, to remember who God is and what he has revealed about life, and – with that memory uppermost in his mind – to move into his relationships and responsibilities with the imaginative strength of Christ.

God is telling a story, a story full of life, love, and grace, a story of hating evil and honoring good, a story rich in drama, poetry, and passion. As we see his story told through our lives, we find the courage to handle the inevitable confusion of life. We find the strength to move ahead, to take risks, to relate deeply, because we are caught up in the larger story of God.

God calls us to move beyond the silence of Adam. We are to abandon ourselves to God with absolute confidence in his goodness; and with the freedom created by that confidence, we are to move into the depths of dangerous uncertainty with a life-giving word. That kind of movement might be something as simple as encouraging a child by giving extra attention, or something as terrifying as giving your heart where it may not be wanted.

But that is where the rub is in moving beyond Adam’s silence: we experience fear. A commitment to manly movement creates healthy fear. We realize there is no code to follow in the arenas we determine to enter. But it also creates a sense of anticipation. As we resolve to speak in darkness, God give courage: not the sort that stills trembling legs but the kind that helps us move forward on them.

It’s an interesting progression. When men move forward in faith, they more deeply realize their need of God, and therefore more earnestly seek him. And when we seek him with all our hearts, we find him. That’s the promise.

Men who spend their lives finding God are quietly transformed from mere men into elders: godly men who know what it means to trust a person when there is no plan to follow; spiritual fathers who enter dark caves that their children run from; Christlike mentors who speak into that darkness with strength instead of control, with gentleness instead of destructive force, and with wisdom that cuts through the confusion to the beauty beyond.

The path to authentic manhood is entered through the narrow gate of single-minded passion to abandon oneself completely to God. The path beyond the gate is the freedom to speak into darkness as one hears and echoes the voice of a well-remembered God."  The Silence of Adam – Larry Crabb

You ever read something, and it just leaps off the page as true? Here it is for me today. Encouraging. Challenging. Humbling. Thank you April for always being a consistent voice of God's "better word" for me. Yes.

the next few.

We're here. The annual season of slightly slowing down to be with friends and family, and more importantly remember that heaven invaded earth some 2000 years ago. Really, that is pretty amazing. And, really, that is the understatement of all time. 

Nonetheless, I find myself with not much to say. April thinks its normal. I think I need some time to think, about that being normal, and really what life looks like between now and moving to Hong Kong. I know the basics, preparing a team, raising needed funds, and being a father and a husband. But, as my wife has kindly reminded me, I am entering into a new season, one where I do not have / nor cannot enjoy a weekly speaking engagement. Interesting. No doubt, the time spent preparing for encounter, and the life-changing moments that have added up to 7 years is hard to put into words.

Yes, for sure, I already miss it. Seeing Jake, Paul, and Dave playing tonight with Martha's Trouble was great. But, really, if I'm honest. I miss those guys. I miss the ridiculously late nights in the AUMC parking lot, watching Paul climb the light poles, dreaming about the future, like church planting in Auburn. What?!?! -- We came closer to that than many people may think. I think to be able to look back and see all that God has done, and all that God in His mercy and wisdom, has NOT allowed to happen, is really encouraging. 

The bottom line: Life is changing for me personally. I'm not really sure anyone could have prepped me for this little season. There is a certain undefined emptiness in my heart. But even as I write this, my eyes are burning because I haven't taken my contacts out, and its really late, and I am really thankful for that bit of emptiness, because it is pushing me towards Him. The vision He's placed in me, to see HK students united in Him, is certainly worth a season of not knowing much, for His namesake. 

Jesus? Unchanging. Eternal.

Marriage? Stable. She is the best. Ever. 

Parenthood? Steady as we go. I love these little people.

Family? Supporting and great. So thankful.

Friendship? Yep. Still there.

Me? In process. 

So, my simple prayer during these next few weeks is to be intentional with the God who knows me and cares for me, more than anyone else. It is only from the fullness of relationship I have with Him, that anything else looking like love and peace can flow. I'm trusting Him for that. 

grace for glory.

It is surreal to think encounter will be ending in a few weeks. For about 7 years, my weeks have revolved around thursday nights. The community known as grace campus, has been meeting on thursdays nights around 8:30 since 2002. The journey has been amazing. What began as the worship overflow of several small groups is now approaching a significant turning point in its history.

I can remember the first night at encounter. We met in Langdon Hall on Auburn's campus. Around 60 people were there. I remember being scared and nervous. I remember the message I spoke on about grace. I remember breathing deeply and diving in to what would be some of the most amazing memories of my life so far. I remember setting up for that night, how much trash was in the room, and how the group of us there didn't care, we just wanted encounter to be as good as it could be. Serving together towards a goal greater than ourselves was enough to keep us focused on Him. 

Turns out, things like production, excellence, planning, etc -- aren't prerequisite for God to move. It was rough in many ways -- but the heart of it all shined through. In simple terms, we wanted to invite people to worship God for who He is and what He has done on behalf for those who believe. 

Grace for glory.

The journey from Langdon Hall, to the Auburn University Chapel, to the AUMC Youth Room, to the AUMC Epworth Center, to the AUMC Sanctuary, to Lakeview Baptist, and finally back on campus in the Auburn University Student Center is one I will carry in my heart forever. In so many ways, I see these years as a gift, for me to experience God in ways I never could have imagined. 

To think about how many lives have walked through the doors, each one with the potential to change the world in the name of Jesus, to think about how many holy moments have occurred that no one will ever know about, to think about those who have listened in via podcasts, to wonder how many prayers of confession and adoration have been expressed, how many anthems and hymns of praise have been raised to our Father, to think about the people in countries around the world who are different because someone from the grace campus community touched their lives, these priceless memories live on in the unending story of God.

I want to thank everyone who has been a part of the journey so far, for those who have given financially, prayed faithfully, served selflessly, participated consistently, volunteered tirelessly, and for those of you found a community here at Auburn in grace campus, thank you. 

As I prepare for one of the most unpredicted messages in my life thursday night, I am filled with joy at the thought of being able to look back, and really see what God has done. The greatest part of it, is that we can't even calculate what God has been orchestrating through this little community of faith in Auburn. To think He would call some of us, to leave here, and go to Hong Kong, and serve there? Wow. To think that many more will remain here, and in time, leave Auburn for wherever is next, I pray each of you will give your lives for the namesake of Jesus, saying yes to Him... wherever that leads. 

Say yes. 

$58 Guarantee of Love?

A hospital distributed makeup mirrors bearing medical ads to a Changchun university, reports the New Culture View.The mirrors were passed out at the door to the cafeteria to every student who entered from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm.

The mirror was enclosed in a seven by five centimeter plastic case. On the front was the the inscription: "1,000 yuan in generous aid." Inside: "Ultrasound visual painless abortion (超导可视无痛人流): It only takes 400 yuan and three minutes for the safest guarantee of love," and ""Show this mirror to the hospital and you can get a female check-up, ultrasound, expert appointment, and early pregnancy check-up free of charge." And on the back: "30% discount on all female disease treatments and surgeries (vagina tightening, maidenhead repair, ectopic pregnancy, cervical cancer). Medicine during treatment is free."

The president of the hospital, a certain Mr. Wu, told the New Culture View that the hospital used to hand out leaflets, but their effect was not very good because too many people threw them away without reading them. The hospital is now using the mirrors in the hope that people will keep them longer. Wu also said that they chose the university to distribute the ads simply because university students are their core customer group.

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When I read an article like this -- I think about the thousands of families waiting to adopt children from China. For about $58 (or 400 yuan) university students can have an abortion in three minutes, meanwhile, for $25,000 USD families can wait years for a child. Things like this make no sense. 

It is incomprehensible how anyone can murder a child and label it "the safest guarantee of love". Sad. Incidentally since 1973 in America? 50 million abortions. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

Psalm 139:13-14

being still in the new normal

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Ps. 46:10

Stillness is more of a posture of my heart, than a reality in my experience these days. Perspective is everything. Admittedly, perspective is a choice, and one I must choose daily, if not hourly. If stillness means no movement, then that pretty much happens when I'm sleeping... I assume. 

Right now, I have 8 lbs of wonder, wrapped in a yellow outfit, with small rabbits around the chest.Big blue eyes are staring up. His little mouth, which trembles slightly when he hiccups, and his little arms that are almost always moving, stretching -- are tiny signs of my own condition before our Holy God. Dearly loved. Greatly held together. Created and Sustained. 

In the background, Rita Springer sings "distant shores and the islands will see your light..." , the dishwasher is running, and Josh and Caleb are playing dinosaurs. April is in the kitchen getting the sink ready for Luke's bath. It's in this moment, where I am choosing to be still, and know, that He is exalted among the nations and on the earth. We want to be a part of seeing His exaltation among the nations. We want our children to participate in the kingdom, to be an active part of seeing His kingdom come on earth, as it is in heaven. 

The bath is ready and that's a good thing. Luke just pooped through his diaper, outfit, and it's all over both of us. Not bad. Not bad at all... 

atari 2600 or... Wii

All I know is that when "i was little" we had pole position and dig-dug. Thanks Zach, for letting us borrow the Wii. Fun. Serious Fun. My arms are sore from boxing my sons. I knocked Josh out but only once.  

my new normal.

Before, I was dead in my transgressions. Estranged from God. Alienated. 

Now, I have been rescued, redeemed, adopted into the family of God. 

Before, I was powerless to choose righteousness, enslaved to sin, consumed by my flesh.

Now, I have Christ in me, living in me, being my strength, enslaved to righteousness, and my flesh has been crucified. I am dead to sin. Alive to God. Sin lives in me. Wages war in me. 

But it is not me. I am His and He is my Father, my God, my Sustainer. 

The new normal for us as a family, means less sleep these days, lots of dirty little diapers, different schedules,more flexibility with each other, more intentionality with all three children and each other, more responsibility.

Life is different now. This is our new normal. 

Normal life this week is looking different than last week's normal life. 

Before Christ, the normal was death, sin, struggle. Normal. Expected. Now in Christ, the normal for every believer has to begin with living FROM a relationship with Christ, THROUGH daily dependence on Christ, for the glory (recognition, amplification, exaltation) of Christ. 

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live (your new normal) in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:3-7

My new normal is to walk in hope, to love with His love, to choose right with His strength, to resist my sinfulness by His grace, and to / live / walk / act / love / think in terms of who I am in Him (my new normal). 

welcome to the world.

Instantaneous joy. More love than any one person could adequately articulate. We are blessed with another little person to love ... humbled at the intricacies of God's creation. More pictures to come when we get home from the hospital. To sign up for our e-newsletter, click here

 

                                               

cupcakes + friends = good night.

Tonight we got to hang out with old friends. Robin - thanks for the great dinner! The boys obviously loved it all. Katie and Biscuet - it's always good to be around you both. At this point, the boys are asleep, I just painted April's toenails (yeah, I said that) and we are watching the Olympics / CNN... and April's stomach as Luke flips around in there. 

the cardboard castle

aaah.

Normally on wednesdays, I am locked away somewhere preparing for encounter, but today was different. Not having taught/spoken in my normal environment in nearly 4 months, I have about 100 sermons brewing in my head, and with April being in "pre-labor" everything seems tentative. So, flexibility is the name of the game. Today, while meditating on Colossians 1:15-17 which is what I plan on speaking from tomorrow night, I built a "castle" out of cardboard boxes and took the boys to the dentist, while my sweet swollen wife did her best to just hang in there...the whole time, I have been reminded that He alone holds all things together. Baby Luke -- we are ready for you to be with us in the outside world. 

toothbrushes and pirates.

                  All I can say is that they do little things like this all the time. 

surrounded.

I have lots of thoughts, but the most important ones right now are honest words about how grateful we are for our family and friends. Yep. Things are a wee-bit-hectic, with the impending baby arrival, encounter starting in a new (and slightly challenging) venue in three days, unpacking our new home, and doing our best to love the two little men already in our lives, and be nice to each other as well. The thing is -- we couldn't really do any of that, and certainly not well, if it weren't for our parents, our staff team, and our friends. We haven't felt this loved and cared for in a long time -- and it's humbling. Today, at our weekly staff prayer time - I reached the end, of a rope I've consistently found the end of, and once again, I found the all-sufficient one: Jesus. 

End of me = More of Jesus. 

As we all prayed together, some face down, many with tears in our eyes, I realized over the past month, how tempted I can be to do stuff on my own --- all the while, there are people who genuinely care for us. Isn't it easier to care for others sometimes? It's really humbling to have people bring dinner, wash my feet, take on some of  "my" responsibilities at work, to have guys spend a weekend helping me move boxes and furniture, or see our moms spend all days unpacking things for us. 

A few minutes ago, April and I ate some Haagan Dazs coffee ice cream... brought to us, by one of many sweet friends who are bringing dinner this week. Thanks to each of you. It's a beautiful picture of belonging to the body of Christ. 

Oops, have you been waiting?

She doesn't know I am writing this right now, but across the room from me is my best friend, rather tired and very pregnant. We are watching the Olympics. This morning she sat in the doctors office for more than an hour... because they forgot she was in the room. When the doctor realized the mistake, she quickly measured her abdomen and checked Luke's heartbeat... and that was it. Yikes -- I would have been livid and less than nice -- an hour of pointless discomfort in a chair (see photo I took last time I was with her) for less than two minutes of care. 

What do you do? 

Proverbs 31 mentions how "she has the full confidence of her husband" -- These days, I have been so impressed by her perspective on life, her willingness to embrace God's calling on her life and ours, and how despite her roly-poly-my-hips-are-hurting-body -- she is driven to be the best little mommy she can be. Yep, I like her a lot. 

hoy no es su cumpleaños

Tonight we had dinner with our "local" family, the Blounts. There we were, all 8 of us. The table was full of crushed chips, cheese dip drips, bits of avocado and empty plates. When, the boys third grandmother, affectionately known as Queenie decided it was their birthday (July 6th and July 31st) -- August 11?....Close enough. 

Free dessert and song. 

Check: $18.50 

Free dessert not on their birthday? Priceless. 

36 gold-rimmed plates

This weekend my parents kept Josh and Caleb so we could focus on packing / giving away. There have been moments of laughter, like when it came to our "keepsakes" box, and what are the things April and I hold on to. None of these items take up much space, but when I look at them, I laugh and I am so grateful to be who I am in Him today. 

We cleaned and packed our garage, kitchen, playroom. Funny - in every room, there were things we hadn't used in years. April found a china set (like with 36 plates alone) that we had literally NEVER used. Gone now - in a box. Or realizing how many coffee mugs does a family really need, much less use? 

Our garage is now divided into two sections. What we have packed. What we are giving away. I am excited to see what simplifying life can do. Turns out, we have accumulated FAR MORE than we really need. 

April and I listed to Francis & Lisa Chan this morning speak about Christ-centered Marriage. We were both challenged and really encouraged. Better put - More challenged, and in the "yes-God" moments, we were encouraged. 

http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/media_player.php

boys II men were right.

It's so haaa-aa-ard, to say goodbye, to yesterday...

These things no longer have a "hold" on me, or at least I'm at the place where I don't need them.

The Liberation List:

1. My Ruth's Chris Steak house waiters folder.

2. The hundreds of cd cases / booklets I thought I'd need. (see www.pandora.com)

3. Bags of extra clothing and shoes. (Platos Closet $67). 

4. My Macbook box and packing materials.

5. Nintendo64. + games. 

6. 2 Altec Lansing Bookshelf Speakers, Magnavox 5-disc CD changer, 

7. Seminary notes, books, videos. 

8. Relics from world travels that never really made the "display wall"

9. Plates I told April to hold onto for her own sentimental value. 

10. Dwayne-wayne flip-up sunglasses.

11. 1995 version of Sony Dream Machine alarm clock. 

12. Old flip flops. 

13. Old tshirts from college road trips.

14. An extra "Beijing Starbucks" coffee mug -- who needs 2? 

Useless items I still hang onto:

1. My first baby teeth and note from the Tooth Fairy. 

2. Sigma Chi glass.

3. Cigar ash tray

4. Old watches that probably I'll never wear. 

5. Old street maps of where I have been.

6. Poker chips. 

7. BB-gun pistol (looks like a sweet 9mm).

8. XBOX (has pac-man for when Josh and Caleb can play).

9. Movie ticket stubs that I took April to, or Josh and Caleb to. 

Last week, we our pastor gave a great sermon on not "letting our possessions possess us" -- and how appropriate that our house should rapidly sell. As we position our lives for greater mobility in the future, it boils down to the trivial, the expendable, and the invaluable. 

Trivial -- random junk we all accumulate.

Expendable -- everyday use items we do need.

Invaluable -- things that are worth more than words. 

grass.

I cut the grass on my John Deere riding mower, for probably the last time in a long time. It was a holy moment for me. Really. I think about how many fun hours I've had on the green machine -- almost every time I've used it, Caleb and Josh have been on my lap. It's what we do. We cut grass. 

As I rode the mower, I thanked Father for the many memories, a beautiful yard, and the adventure He is inviting us into. The journey is always the point until we reach our ultimate destination in eternity. It makes me all the more aware how invaluable it is for me to embrace and invest in the lives around me, whatever I'm doing. Cutting grass included. 

I realized something - there are moments in life where things are so amazing we'd never forget. No help needed. But the commonplace things in life, like cutting grass -- those are memories forged over time and repetition... and being intentional with people nearest you.