We reflect love like we know love.
The other day at t-ball, Josh was having a hard time. Partly due to exhaustion and partly due to him being a little a stubborn he was reluctant to play. This moment for me initially was a pivot point. Flesh or Spirit. I confess my pride of “What will people think of a coach whose own son doesn’t even play” went across my mind. Then God’s mercy did. How many times have You seen my junk and been filled with compassion, interceding in my messy little tball game to show me Your love?
As this little scenario unfolded, I chose to walk in the Spirit. I did the best I could to encourage Josh, but after barely hitting the ball, and crying all the way to 1st and 2nd base. I realized he needed rescue. No amount of encouragement would help. So, I walked out to second base, still denying my pride, especially to the overly helpful coaches on the other team decked out in their coach shorts and tball cleats. There’s honesty. But then I realized again, that this was not about me. Never was. Why let it be about me anyway? This was about Josh having fun on a team. Humble me. April gives Josh the choice to be a part of the team or not play. After seeing the rest of the team playing, Josh wants in, kinda. The next at bat – I promised Josh I would swing ride beside him, and run all the bases beside him. That made the difference. Every dusty little step of the way, I was right there. Encouraging him with words, and encouraging him with my presence. Maybe that’s what he needed in the first place. To be reminded by me, that whether he plays or not – I love him. I do.
Fathers - do not provoke your children, lest they grow discouraged - Colossians 3:21
I noticed as we rounded the bases, that his little heart grew more confident. Before long, he was back to normal… reflecting on this little team, what he knew about himself and about me; That I loved him and would be beside him. I do love him. What a joy he is to be around. The thing is – nothing changed in my heart for him. I knew, no matter what, his worth in my eyes. He is worth any awkward moment on a 100*F tball field.
I think the Oh-God-moments begin in my mind, when I think that even in his “worst” moments --- my love for Him is not open to debate (even when my pride rears it’s ugly head) – and then I think on a Heavenly Father scale – who does not wrestle with pride because HE IS THE BEST, how much joy He experiences when we don’t lost heart, and when we do stay in the game, swinging the bat, running the bases, remembering He is here.